The most common answer people give me about what they didn’t like in past therapy is something I refer to as over-validating.

What is over-validating?

Therapists are trained to validate their client’s experiences. We do this through tentative language (sounds like, looks like, seems like), paraphrasing, and showing empathy. It’s an important part of therapy because people need to feel heard and understood before moving to actual change.

Validation becomes a problem when it is the whole session. Many clients tell me their previous therapist offered generic comments and repeated the same validating phrases instead of helping them move forward.

An example

“We just talked about what’s been going on and he’d say some variation of, ‘That sounds really tough,’ and then give me a generic handout.” Not great. That’s lazy therapy.

What’s different with me?

Validation matters — it just shouldn’t be the majority of the work. My job is to get you focused on making progress, not staying stuck in what isn’t working. After someone tells a story, a therapist can choose any number of things to focus on. I validate what’s important, but then I shift the conversation to solution-focused dialogue — the part that actually creates change.

What do you mean by solution-talk?

When you’re sharing something difficult, I focus on:
• How you overcame the situation
• The exceptions to the problem
• What you did that helped
• What strengths were present
• What success looked like
• What’s possible for you now and in the future

If you’re looking for a male therapist in Vaughan who provides individual counselling and couples counselling for infidelity, anxiety, depression, anger, ADHD, grief, communication issues, or behavioural challenges, I can help.

I offer straightforward, practical therapy that focuses on real progress — not endless validating and nodding. Book a session or a consultation if you want therapy in Vaughan that actually helps you move forward.